you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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