woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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