Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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