i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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