dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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