Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
