Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
