I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
