Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
