Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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