I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
