Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
