I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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