Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
