9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
3pm strippers are depressing
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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