i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.