omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.