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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you hooked up with him?

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  you sound like my dream girl

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• (516): View more from New York

  Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

  Fav 9 3873 775

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move

  Fav 33 7626 1120

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?

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• (914): View more from New York

  But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt

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• (512): View more from Texas

  He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.

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• (916): View more from California

  Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.

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• (310): View more from California

  God, please protect all woman from micro-penises

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.

  Fav 1 114 177

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