Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?