I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
