New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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