How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
After tacos, we're chasing women.