let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
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