We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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