We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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