THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
