It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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