He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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