So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
