Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
