you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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