So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
