Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
