is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
