after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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