She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
