May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i may or may not be watching the land before time
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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