Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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