I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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