i permit you to call me
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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