there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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