Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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