Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
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I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
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Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
You left your phone here
Wait...
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