If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
