You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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