Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
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Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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