Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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