i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
