I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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