I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
