So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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