he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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