Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
