he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Even the bartender felt bad for me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
