I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's rum buckets o'clock
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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