Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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