okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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