He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
