Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
