She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
