I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
