I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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