kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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