i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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