We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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