Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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