Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
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Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina