what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
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I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship