thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.