Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
