it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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