I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize