I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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