Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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