Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
