yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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