Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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