let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
