Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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